Came this way today heading north from Italy to the Frankfurt motor show. The A2 is interesting in its own right - a very large percentage of it runs in tunnels or over high Alpine bridges, but the centre-piece is the single-bore, single carriageway Gotthard Tunnel, which runs for over ten miles.
Driving such a long distance in a tunnel can be a bit disorientating. It makes you wonder whether a road tunnel under the Channel would ever have been a practical proposition - from the driving point of view, that is, quite apart from the technical and financial obstacles.
Opinion has apparently turned against completing the originally planned second bore; the Swiss resent their country being used just as a transit route between Germany and points south. This brings pollution but few economic benefits, despite the 'Vignette' flat-rate toll system imposed on visitors.
On Friday, I also did the Arlberg tunnel in Austria on the S16; that's almost as long as the Gotthard (14km as opposed to 16.4km) but less well known.
Why recommend the A2 and the Gotthard Tunnel? Well the engineering is deeply impressive, so they are worth seeing for that reason alone. They also save a lot of time compared with going over the Gotthard pass, although that could be an interesting experience in itself. Haven't been that way recently enough to comment.
Showing posts with label road tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label road tips. Show all posts
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Friday, 14 September 2007
Road tips 8 - Ss38 Stelvio pass
About fifteen years ago, I discovered Hugh Merrick's The Great Motor Highways of the Alps, which was first published in 1958, in a second-hand book shop in Charing Cross Road. As its title suggests, this is a guide aimed at British motorists of the day who were interested in exploring the main Alpine passes.
It's a fascinating book, not just for the information it contains about the passes themselves, but also for the now hopelessly quaint and antiquated advice it dispenses for drivers of British cars that weren't really designed with high-speed cruising and mountain driving in mind. Bear in mind, for example, that most British drivers in those days wouldn't have seen a motorway in their lives, so they needed to have the basics of Autobahn driving explained to them from scratch.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was always very taken with Merrick's write-up on the Stelvio. This is not quite the highest pass over the Alps, but it's famous for features such as its challenging hairpins, and for that reason is often considered to be 'the big one'. Every year since I found Merrick's book I've promised myself I'll take a crack at the Stelvio during the few months it's open each year but other stuff - usually work - has intervened. This year, a trip to a wedding in Italy finally provided me with the excuse I needed and yesterday was the big day.
Of course, in the last minute rush, I forgot to pack the book so I did this the twenty-first century way - I just punched the destination 'Stelvio Ss38' into my portable sat-nav and set off from my starting point, Friedrichshafen airport down on Lake Konstanz.
Anyway, one result of relying on the sat-nav to get me there was that I ended up traversing the Stelvio from the northern/eastern end, which I think is called the Prato side.
This seems to be by far the tougher option as it involves ascending, rather, than descending, the famous sequence of 48 tightly packed hairpins near the top on that side.
The right-handers on this section are deadly. They need to be negotiated very carefully, often in first gear and on full lock, taking you onto the other side of the road under conditions in which you are almost blind to approaching cars coming downhill. The only way to look out for this oncoming traffic is to crane your neck up and to the right and look for it out of the very uppermost portion of the right-hand rear side window of your car as you approach the bend. There also seems to be the risk of grounding either your car's front end or nearside sill, although the long-nosed Alfa I was driving escaped without any such scrapes. If there's a knack to tackling these nasty right-handers, I didn't discover it.
If I'm honest, at least the way I did it, the Stelvio probably wasn't quite the great driving experience I'd been imagining it would be all those years. It was just a bit too extreme for that with all that first gear work - and there were too many nutty cyclists and bikers around to make for a relaxing drive, even on a quiet day. Generally, the hairpin bends on the southern/western (Bormio) side aren't anything like so tightly radiused - I think it would be much more fun to blast up this side fairly quickly and then descend the tight hairpins on the northern side facing the great views on that slope, which include several glaciers.
That said, the scenery was far more impressive than I'd imagined, and at the end of a long day's driving there was a real sense of achievement at making it across.
I'd certainly recommend the Stelvio but it really isn't for the faint-hearted, not least because of the almost unimaginably deep sheer drops that can occasionally be glimpsed through the sometimes incomplete safety fencing. Tackling the Stelvio also commits you to long drives on fairly demanding roads either side to get in and out as well, especially at the Italian end, so you probably need to allow a full day for this, all things considered. Also, if you set off and decide part of the way through that you've bitten off more than you can chew and want to turn back, that may involve a challenging drive too.
And please don't tackle this unless your car is in good condition. I can't imagine how Merrick's readers in their miserable fifties British motors, complete with drum brakes and hopelessly puny engine braking, ever made it through.
It's a fascinating book, not just for the information it contains about the passes themselves, but also for the now hopelessly quaint and antiquated advice it dispenses for drivers of British cars that weren't really designed with high-speed cruising and mountain driving in mind. Bear in mind, for example, that most British drivers in those days wouldn't have seen a motorway in their lives, so they needed to have the basics of Autobahn driving explained to them from scratch.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was always very taken with Merrick's write-up on the Stelvio. This is not quite the highest pass over the Alps, but it's famous for features such as its challenging hairpins, and for that reason is often considered to be 'the big one'. Every year since I found Merrick's book I've promised myself I'll take a crack at the Stelvio during the few months it's open each year but other stuff - usually work - has intervened. This year, a trip to a wedding in Italy finally provided me with the excuse I needed and yesterday was the big day.
Of course, in the last minute rush, I forgot to pack the book so I did this the twenty-first century way - I just punched the destination 'Stelvio Ss38' into my portable sat-nav and set off from my starting point, Friedrichshafen airport down on Lake Konstanz.
Anyway, one result of relying on the sat-nav to get me there was that I ended up traversing the Stelvio from the northern/eastern end, which I think is called the Prato side.
This seems to be by far the tougher option as it involves ascending, rather, than descending, the famous sequence of 48 tightly packed hairpins near the top on that side.
The right-handers on this section are deadly. They need to be negotiated very carefully, often in first gear and on full lock, taking you onto the other side of the road under conditions in which you are almost blind to approaching cars coming downhill. The only way to look out for this oncoming traffic is to crane your neck up and to the right and look for it out of the very uppermost portion of the right-hand rear side window of your car as you approach the bend. There also seems to be the risk of grounding either your car's front end or nearside sill, although the long-nosed Alfa I was driving escaped without any such scrapes. If there's a knack to tackling these nasty right-handers, I didn't discover it.
If I'm honest, at least the way I did it, the Stelvio probably wasn't quite the great driving experience I'd been imagining it would be all those years. It was just a bit too extreme for that with all that first gear work - and there were too many nutty cyclists and bikers around to make for a relaxing drive, even on a quiet day. Generally, the hairpin bends on the southern/western (Bormio) side aren't anything like so tightly radiused - I think it would be much more fun to blast up this side fairly quickly and then descend the tight hairpins on the northern side facing the great views on that slope, which include several glaciers.
That said, the scenery was far more impressive than I'd imagined, and at the end of a long day's driving there was a real sense of achievement at making it across.
I'd certainly recommend the Stelvio but it really isn't for the faint-hearted, not least because of the almost unimaginably deep sheer drops that can occasionally be glimpsed through the sometimes incomplete safety fencing. Tackling the Stelvio also commits you to long drives on fairly demanding roads either side to get in and out as well, especially at the Italian end, so you probably need to allow a full day for this, all things considered. Also, if you set off and decide part of the way through that you've bitten off more than you can chew and want to turn back, that may involve a challenging drive too.
And please don't tackle this unless your car is in good condition. I can't imagine how Merrick's readers in their miserable fifties British motors, complete with drum brakes and hopelessly puny engine braking, ever made it through.
Monday, 6 August 2007
Road tips 7 - Bundesautobahn A555 between Cologne and Bonn
Today is the 75th anniversary of the opening of the A555, the road that is now generally regarded as the first German Autobahn. It's not the only contender for the title; the older AVUS motor racing and testing circuit in Berlin, now integrated into the Autobahn network, is one - and if my memory serves me correctly, another section between Frankfurt and Darmstadt also has a claim.
In fact, the A555 didn't formally become an Autobahn until 1955 and only got a second carriageway as part of a huge construction project in the mid-sixties. Until then, it had a single carriageway layout providing two lanes in each direction. What marked out the A555 in comparison with earlier roads when it opened in 1932 was that its use was restricted to motor vehicles and its junctions were grade separated.
On this basis, I reckon the claim of the A555 to be the first Autobahn is a fair one. It's worth noting, though, that this isn't just a dry technical matter but a slightly sensitive political question for Germans as well. Classifying the A555 - opened the year before Hitler came to power - as the first Autobahn allows the motorways to be regarded as an invention of democratic Germany, rather than as a product of the Nazi regime. Personally, I think that's probably irrelevant - the big construction push that gave the Autobahn network the basic outline it has today certainly did take place under the Nazis, so I don't think it makes much difference whether the birth of the Autobahns can be traced all the way back to 1932 or only to some politically inconvenient later date. I can't really see that this valuable infrastructure project deserves to be tainted by its links to the 1933-1945 period either way; it would probably have been built anyway - if at a slower pace.
So what's the A555 like today? I lived in Bonn for a number of years in the nineties, so I had the A555 on my doorstep and know it well. Large sections have no speed limit and the long, straight southern stretch nearest to Bonn is of the best pieces of unrestricted road anywhere on the German network. It's also one of the closest decent unrestricted sections of Autobahn to the UK, but please, please don't take that as a recommendation to take your car there for a high-speed blast unless you have a lot - and I mean a lot - of experience at driving at speeds that are much higher than those that are common on British roads. Traffic on unrestricted German Autobahns does move faster than traffic in other countries, but opportunities to go much beyond 100mph safely and responsibly are comparatively rare these days because of the weight of traffic and the condition of some of these roads. Those opportunities are hard to judge if most of your driving has been done in countries with speed limits, however good a driver you might think you are - and the consequences of cocking it up don't bear thinking about.
That apart, you may be asking why the Germans should have all the best roads (sorry if that sounds a bit like the question about the devil and the best tunes - didn't mean it to come out that way). The answer is that I'm not sure that they do. There are about 12,000km of German Autobahn (more than three times the British total of about 3,700km) but the standard of much of the network is surprisingly low. Often there are no hard shoulders and most sections have four (i.e. two in each direction) lanes, rather than six. New Autobahns are still being built according to this comparatively low standard. The age of some Autobahns also means that route alignments, slip-roads and junctions are often poor. Britain has avoided many of these problems - not through skill or foresight but simply because we started building our motorways much later.
One of the most interesting facts published in the German press today in its coverage of the A555's 75th birthday was to be found in the Financial Times Deutschland; only 3,000km of the German network has six lanes, the standard that is almost universal in the UK, so on this measure, the two countries are probably more or less equal. Remember too that much of the UK A road network would be classified as motorway in almost all continental countries - stretches of the A14, A34, A55, A19, A38, A13, A12 and A2, to name some of the most obvious examples, would qualify - and things don't look so bad here.
That said, I'd have to admit that we still don't have anything to match the gloriously long, flat, straight unrestricted southern stretch of the A555 near Bonn. I'd love to have been able to take the CL500 there this week.
In fact, the A555 didn't formally become an Autobahn until 1955 and only got a second carriageway as part of a huge construction project in the mid-sixties. Until then, it had a single carriageway layout providing two lanes in each direction. What marked out the A555 in comparison with earlier roads when it opened in 1932 was that its use was restricted to motor vehicles and its junctions were grade separated.
On this basis, I reckon the claim of the A555 to be the first Autobahn is a fair one. It's worth noting, though, that this isn't just a dry technical matter but a slightly sensitive political question for Germans as well. Classifying the A555 - opened the year before Hitler came to power - as the first Autobahn allows the motorways to be regarded as an invention of democratic Germany, rather than as a product of the Nazi regime. Personally, I think that's probably irrelevant - the big construction push that gave the Autobahn network the basic outline it has today certainly did take place under the Nazis, so I don't think it makes much difference whether the birth of the Autobahns can be traced all the way back to 1932 or only to some politically inconvenient later date. I can't really see that this valuable infrastructure project deserves to be tainted by its links to the 1933-1945 period either way; it would probably have been built anyway - if at a slower pace.
So what's the A555 like today? I lived in Bonn for a number of years in the nineties, so I had the A555 on my doorstep and know it well. Large sections have no speed limit and the long, straight southern stretch nearest to Bonn is of the best pieces of unrestricted road anywhere on the German network. It's also one of the closest decent unrestricted sections of Autobahn to the UK, but please, please don't take that as a recommendation to take your car there for a high-speed blast unless you have a lot - and I mean a lot - of experience at driving at speeds that are much higher than those that are common on British roads. Traffic on unrestricted German Autobahns does move faster than traffic in other countries, but opportunities to go much beyond 100mph safely and responsibly are comparatively rare these days because of the weight of traffic and the condition of some of these roads. Those opportunities are hard to judge if most of your driving has been done in countries with speed limits, however good a driver you might think you are - and the consequences of cocking it up don't bear thinking about.
That apart, you may be asking why the Germans should have all the best roads (sorry if that sounds a bit like the question about the devil and the best tunes - didn't mean it to come out that way). The answer is that I'm not sure that they do. There are about 12,000km of German Autobahn (more than three times the British total of about 3,700km) but the standard of much of the network is surprisingly low. Often there are no hard shoulders and most sections have four (i.e. two in each direction) lanes, rather than six. New Autobahns are still being built according to this comparatively low standard. The age of some Autobahns also means that route alignments, slip-roads and junctions are often poor. Britain has avoided many of these problems - not through skill or foresight but simply because we started building our motorways much later.
One of the most interesting facts published in the German press today in its coverage of the A555's 75th birthday was to be found in the Financial Times Deutschland; only 3,000km of the German network has six lanes, the standard that is almost universal in the UK, so on this measure, the two countries are probably more or less equal. Remember too that much of the UK A road network would be classified as motorway in almost all continental countries - stretches of the A14, A34, A55, A19, A38, A13, A12 and A2, to name some of the most obvious examples, would qualify - and things don't look so bad here.
That said, I'd have to admit that we still don't have anything to match the gloriously long, flat, straight unrestricted southern stretch of the A555 near Bonn. I'd love to have been able to take the CL500 there this week.
Monday, 30 July 2007
Road tips 6 - A170 Sutton Bank
I'm not sure whether the tip should be to avoid Sutton Bank, a steep and winding section of the A170 near Thirsk, like the plague, or to make a point of seeking it out.
One thing's for sure; it's one of the most distinctive features on the UK primary road network, although I don't believe it is actually, as is sometimes claimed, the steepest UK 'A' road. It nevertheless has a fearsome reputation. HGVs regularly get stuck and caravans are banned completely.
I recently drove up Sutton Bank for the first time in a few years when traveling to North Yorkshire for the Verdict test of the Land Rover Freelander 2. I have to admit, this time around, it didn't seem anything like as hairy or dramatic as I remembered it - put that down to the torque of the Freelander's diesel, I suppose - but it's still an enjoyable drive, especially if you can get a clear run unobstructed by slow traffic. Great views from the top of Sutton Bank, as well.
One thing's for sure; it's one of the most distinctive features on the UK primary road network, although I don't believe it is actually, as is sometimes claimed, the steepest UK 'A' road. It nevertheless has a fearsome reputation. HGVs regularly get stuck and caravans are banned completely.
I recently drove up Sutton Bank for the first time in a few years when traveling to North Yorkshire for the Verdict test of the Land Rover Freelander 2. I have to admit, this time around, it didn't seem anything like as hairy or dramatic as I remembered it - put that down to the torque of the Freelander's diesel, I suppose - but it's still an enjoyable drive, especially if you can get a clear run unobstructed by slow traffic. Great views from the top of Sutton Bank, as well.
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
Road tips 4 - M6 Toll and Norton Canes Services
I know I'm not being entirely consistent by recommending the M6 Toll so soon after tipping the A50 as an alternative, but it does have a lot going for it; it's a pleasant drive and I've never encountered a jam there, which is what you'd expect given that its job is to relieve, or at least provide an alternative to, congestion on the main M6 through Birmingham.
The two specific pluses I'd like to highlight, though, are the following. The first is that the M6 Toll seems to be one of the few toll roads in the UK that is willing to issue receipts, which makes it a bit easier for anyone driving for work to reclaim the cost.
The second is that Norton Canes, the only service area on the M6 Toll, is probably the most pleasant place to stop on a long run north on the M1/M6. Now I know that people who spend a lot of time on the road usually say that the independently run Tebay Services further north on the M6 in Cumbria are the best in the country, and that challenging this notion borders on sacrilege. But Norton Canes shows that the big operators - Roadchef in this case - can do a good job too. Norton Canes is stylish and modern, and offers a wide choice. The only problem is that it can get very crowded at busy times, although on my last visit on Saturday evening - see photo - it was more or less empty.
The two specific pluses I'd like to highlight, though, are the following. The first is that the M6 Toll seems to be one of the few toll roads in the UK that is willing to issue receipts, which makes it a bit easier for anyone driving for work to reclaim the cost.
The second is that Norton Canes, the only service area on the M6 Toll, is probably the most pleasant place to stop on a long run north on the M1/M6. Now I know that people who spend a lot of time on the road usually say that the independently run Tebay Services further north on the M6 in Cumbria are the best in the country, and that challenging this notion borders on sacrilege. But Norton Canes shows that the big operators - Roadchef in this case - can do a good job too. Norton Canes is stylish and modern, and offers a wide choice. The only problem is that it can get very crowded at busy times, although on my last visit on Saturday evening - see photo - it was more or less empty.
Monday, 14 May 2007
Road tips 3 - B1225 and B1183 through Lincolnshire
The B1225 and B1183 form a north-south link through Lincolnshire and can be incorporated into any journey between Yorkshire (or points north) and East Anglia. These are excellent driving roads and also provide a chance to see the Lincolnshire countryside, which is a lot more interesting than it's sometimes given credit for - it's not all flat for a start!
These roads can also be a surprisingly quick way of completing north-south journeys when the A1 is clogged and are a lot nicer than the broadly parallel A15 and A16 which always seem to be unpleasantly congested whenever I use them. And don't be put off by the fact that these are B roads; they are a lot better than many 'A's and, at least at the times I have used them, they have had little traffic on them. This description of the route runs from north to south.
It's best to join the B1225 at Caistor, which is about ten miles south of the Humber Bridge. This is a relatively fast road with long sweeping curves that takes you over the undulating Lincolnshire Wolds (no, I'm not sure what a wold is either). On my last run along this stretch yesterday, I saw a lot of new road safety signs aimed at motorcyclists; I didn't encounter any, but the B1225 does look like ideal bike country. It doesn't pass through any significant towns, but a short detour will take you to Market Rasen or Louth.
A minor bonus is that the B1225 also passes the base of the Belmont (TV) transmitting station. You've probably never heard of it but this is the tallest structure in Britain, and, according to some accounts, in Europe. Apparently, it's an identical twin of the old Emley mast that famously iced up and collapsed in the late sixties. This photo, taken yesterday, shows it disappearing into the mist; it's a guyed structure, and some of the guy-ropes can just about be made out here (click on the picture to see an enlarged version).
The B1225 eventually joins the A158 near Horncastle, which is certainly worth a look; like the other towns in the region, it's very charming in a slightly frozen in time, fifties sort of way.
Just to the south of Horncastle, the B1183 starts in an appealingly twisty fashion - there's some fun to be had here - but after a few miles, it opens up, leaving the Wolds behind and tracks for miles beneath the 'big sky' for which the Fens are famous on a series of very long, fast straights.
Incidentally, the B1183 offers an unusual opportunity to visit New York and Boston within the space of about half an hour; New York is a small place signposted off the B1183 to the west, while Boston is the road's southern terminus.
These roads can also be a surprisingly quick way of completing north-south journeys when the A1 is clogged and are a lot nicer than the broadly parallel A15 and A16 which always seem to be unpleasantly congested whenever I use them. And don't be put off by the fact that these are B roads; they are a lot better than many 'A's and, at least at the times I have used them, they have had little traffic on them. This description of the route runs from north to south.
It's best to join the B1225 at Caistor, which is about ten miles south of the Humber Bridge. This is a relatively fast road with long sweeping curves that takes you over the undulating Lincolnshire Wolds (no, I'm not sure what a wold is either). On my last run along this stretch yesterday, I saw a lot of new road safety signs aimed at motorcyclists; I didn't encounter any, but the B1225 does look like ideal bike country. It doesn't pass through any significant towns, but a short detour will take you to Market Rasen or Louth.
A minor bonus is that the B1225 also passes the base of the Belmont (TV) transmitting station. You've probably never heard of it but this is the tallest structure in Britain, and, according to some accounts, in Europe. Apparently, it's an identical twin of the old Emley mast that famously iced up and collapsed in the late sixties. This photo, taken yesterday, shows it disappearing into the mist; it's a guyed structure, and some of the guy-ropes can just about be made out here (click on the picture to see an enlarged version).
The B1225 eventually joins the A158 near Horncastle, which is certainly worth a look; like the other towns in the region, it's very charming in a slightly frozen in time, fifties sort of way.
Just to the south of Horncastle, the B1183 starts in an appealingly twisty fashion - there's some fun to be had here - but after a few miles, it opens up, leaving the Wolds behind and tracks for miles beneath the 'big sky' for which the Fens are famous on a series of very long, fast straights.
Incidentally, the B1183 offers an unusual opportunity to visit New York and Boston within the space of about half an hour; New York is a small place signposted off the B1183 to the west, while Boston is the road's southern terminus.
Sunday, 6 May 2007
Road tips 2 - The Birkenhead (Queensway) Tunnel
Opened in 1934, the Birkenhead Tunnel was designed by Sir Basil Mott, although the structures that you can see on the surface, including the entrances to the tunnel, are the work of Herbert James Rowse. Like so many older buildings in Liverpool, their imposing style and fine detailing recall the city's prosperous past.
The main tunnel changes direction several times over its length of more than two miles, and four lanes of traffic, two in each direction, run in a large single bore; Mott's cavernous masterpiece certainly isn't the place to go if you want to hear the sound of your engine bouncing off the walls, as I discovered when I drove the Alfa Spider through it with the roof down the other day.
So what's the tip? Not that the Queensway Tunnel is a good way of getting between the two sides of the Mersey - that would be a bit too obvious! No, the tip is just to go and marvel at this wonder of early twentieth century civil engineering; there is nothing quite like it anywhere else in the UK.
The main tunnel changes direction several times over its length of more than two miles, and four lanes of traffic, two in each direction, run in a large single bore; Mott's cavernous masterpiece certainly isn't the place to go if you want to hear the sound of your engine bouncing off the walls, as I discovered when I drove the Alfa Spider through it with the roof down the other day.
So what's the tip? Not that the Queensway Tunnel is a good way of getting between the two sides of the Mersey - that would be a bit too obvious! No, the tip is just to go and marvel at this wonder of early twentieth century civil engineering; there is nothing quite like it anywhere else in the UK.
Friday, 4 May 2007
Road tips 1 - A50/A500 from the M1 to the M6
A trip to Cheshire provides a handy reminder of this alternative to using the southern end of the M6 and the M6 Toll for journeys between the south-east and the north-west. From the south, the A50 leaves the M1 near Derby and heads across the north Midlands past Uttoxeter to Stoke. Until fairly recently, the best bet on reaching Stoke was to turn left onto the A500 heading south, and then join the M6 at junction 15.
Now it makes more sense (although this is not signposted at the A50/A500 junction), to turn right on to the A500 instead and join the M6 further north at J16, thanks to the Pathfinder project, a recently completed series of improvements to the relevant section of the A500, which mainly involved removing at-grade junctions and roundabouts.
The A50/A500 corridor is dual carriageway throughout, although there is the odd roundabout to slow you down. Of course, this important link should really be a motorway, and there was a plan to do it that way at one time. But it's still a handy way to beat the congestion on the M6 at most times of day.
The only bad bit is at the southern end, where the A50 rather messily links in to the M1 directly or indirectly at junctions 23A, 24 and 24A. It's not just a pig's ear or a dog's breakfast - it's more like a pig's ear being eaten by a dog for breakfast.
Now it makes more sense (although this is not signposted at the A50/A500 junction), to turn right on to the A500 instead and join the M6 further north at J16, thanks to the Pathfinder project, a recently completed series of improvements to the relevant section of the A500, which mainly involved removing at-grade junctions and roundabouts.
The A50/A500 corridor is dual carriageway throughout, although there is the odd roundabout to slow you down. Of course, this important link should really be a motorway, and there was a plan to do it that way at one time. But it's still a handy way to beat the congestion on the M6 at most times of day.
The only bad bit is at the southern end, where the A50 rather messily links in to the M1 directly or indirectly at junctions 23A, 24 and 24A. It's not just a pig's ear or a dog's breakfast - it's more like a pig's ear being eaten by a dog for breakfast.
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